The last couple of years I've spread myself too thin... taking care of an extra child, working more hours, teaching crochet 2 nights a week, trying to keep fit, looking after a family, attempting to keep a large house in order, managing chronic pain, clutching onto a failing relationship whilst still doggedly squeezing in some creative "making" time. It didn't work out very well, I wore too thin...everything wore too thin and broke. There have been some horrible, distressing and dark times. I will not bring them here.
I'm not through it yet but I have periods of relative calm. Sometimes these string into days and I can almost imagine things might turn out alright. I "lost" my two eldest children - don't worry, not in a bad way! My eldest son went away to University and my 17 year old daughter moved to the USA with her father, step-mum and two half sisters. Of course I miss them and the house feels so much bigger without them. But there's less work. Less cooking. Less cleaning. Less noise. Fewer arguments and confrontation. Also less joy.
I gave up teaching crochet regularly. Now I just teach one-to-one, small groups and the occasional day courses. I miss teaching, I miss my students... I miss the extra money! But I do believe it was the right thing to do. It put too much pressure on my family and myself.
However, I still have the itch to scratch! So, I'm starting to work more on my crochet website, www.mezzacraft.com. Although it's a lot of work, I can do this without deadlines, at my own pace and fit it around my life.
I have a lot of patterns that I've developed over the years that I was teaching crochet. Many of them have only ever been seen and/or made by my students. I'd like to get them out into the world and share them.
My actual website is a bit of a mess right now - we put a new template on but I haven't really got to grips with it yet so the layout isn't right and some of the pages haven't loaded properly. I'm hoping to gradually fix this over the next week or so.
In the mean time, I have put out two simple patterns, and they're free!:
Three Little Bowls
Mini Basket
The next couple of things I'm working on are my "Tiled Tee" pattern. I have written the pattern but need to grade a couple of extra sizes and then have it tested.
I'm also making a scarf in sock weight yarn using my star-flower crochet motif.
I'm just working out the border and then I will write up the pattern for that too.
I really love this gorgeous yarn from West Green Loft Yarns. I bought it from the Unravel festival a couple of years ago. It's uplifting to crochet with!
I'm aiming to post regularly about updates to my website, new patterns etc. Perhaps it will make me more accountable?!
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